Sometime back, we talked about forgiveness and how beneficial it is to our growth and peace of mind. Today we shall discuss a similar topic but with a different twist. Letting go of blame. What does this do? It allows us to be free and to take our power back. When we let go of blame, we acknowledge that someone or something else does not have the ability to determine our life experiences. How often do you blame others for your shortcomings?
How often do you blame circumstances for your stress and frustrations? We have all been there and done that. We blame our parents, our siblings, our bosses, the weather, our friends, the economy, the whole enchiladas but we forget that we have the power and no one and nothing can take it away. How often do you blame yourself? Is blaming yourself ok? Why do we blame ourselves? Because we made mistakes? What is so wrong with making honest mistakes? We are human, right? Do we expect to be perfect? If so, we are on the wrong planet.
Blaming others and ourselves is reinforced in our culture. We experience it as we grow up and it almost becomes part of us. Blame is really about avoiding responsibility. It is seductive. It makes us right and those we blame wrong. It may even make you feel better for a moment or so. However, in the long run, holding blame only hurts us, it keeps us stuck and halts our evolution. When we blame others, we avoid seeing the truth about ourselves. When we focus on what someone else did wrong, we are not able to see our part and learn about what we need to do differently going forward. When we carry blame, we carry anger too
Blame is a limiting energy. It damages our wellbeing and causes conflict. It keeps us stuck in the past, re-living old patterns and expecting different results. It creates a feeling of victimhood, robbing us our sense of peace that is found deep within each of us. Blame focuses on reproach. So, what can we do and how can we unlearn assigning blame? Letting go of blame requires that we take full responsibility for ourselves and our emotions. We indeed play a part in every situation we experience and we have the power to choose again. We allow ourselves the emotions we wish to experience. We must recognize that no one and nothing can make us feel a certain way unless we allow it. We must empower ourselves with this knowledge.
Releasing blame takes commitment. There are a few things we can do along the way to help us to let go. First of all, we need to create awareness. The best way is to take a look at the situation in our lives, past or present with an intent to let go of what no longer serves us. Compassion is another tool we can use. We are all human and we do make mistakes. When we acknowledge this, we are gentler with ourselves and others. Having compassion allows us to release judgmental attitudes. Releasing blame requires a shift in perception. This means that we are not close minded, we are open to new insights without clinging to old rigid thought processes. Another approach is to look for the lesson in every situation. There is always wisdom to be gained in our experiences. This enables us to transform even our most challenging experiences into greater awareness and strength. Last but not least, focusing on the future will help us let go of blame. This approach helps us feel empowered and drives us to take full responsibility for creating a life we desire.
“When you blame others for your life you give away your power. It doesn’t matter what happened to you in the past– your spouse cheated on you, a parent abandoned you, a friend stole from you. Whatever bad things may have happened to you in the past are in the past. Do not allow the past to take away from your now”